I saw their car. Trey’s car. Our oldest son, and his wife, and our pride and joy. Unexpected, unannounced arrivals. In an instant I wanted to be there inside the house, doting on Trey, chatting with Cara, holding Lyman, our precious grandson.
“Just keep driving,” I said without hesitation.
It came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying and at the same time I knew somewhere deep in my heart that once we crossed the threshold of passing by our driveway, we were taking our relationship somewhere new. I couldn’t help it. When Robert said, “Looks like the kids are here,” it sounded like a lifetime of disappointment had settled down on his shoulders for good. I wasn’t going to have that. Not tonight.
“Are you sure?” Robert wanted to know.
“Keep driving,” I insisted, reaching out and grabbing his thigh.
Robert adjusted, and eased past our driveway. He came to a stop at the sign two doors down and asked, “Where to from here, pretty lady?”
In a moment the shit storm came down in my head, hard, fast, relentless. I had a man to my left who was going through hell to re-win me. On the other hand, I had life like it was, comfortable, sweet, waiting. I had to decide. Now. “Take a right,” I muttered, still unsure of what was unfolding.
“OK,” he replied. “And now?”
My mind danced. A thousand blogs of a thousand empowered women ran through my mind. All at once I wanted to be that generational voice, that empowered woman, and at the same time, by God, I wanted to fuck this stupid man silly. “Wait. Turn back.” I wanted to say.”Go back and let me live the life of a grandmother,” I wanted to say. “Stop the truck now and screw me senseless.” I wanted to say.
Then I felt the weight from HIS shoulders fall between us. He had tried so hard. Had extended himself. Had become more than what he was. Had pushed past where he was to embrace what we could be. Damnit, I love this man.
I collected myself. Threw off the alcohol haze. Like Siri, an automaton, I uttered, “Proceed to the next stop sign. Take a right. Proceed to the next stop sign. Take a left.”
“Where are we going?” He wanted to know.
I continued to stroke his thigh. “Just keep going, stud. I know where we’re going.”
After some additional directions, we pulled into the city park four blocks from home. Lights were out for evening curfew. I remembered walking past this very parking area last weekend and seeing a used condom in one of the parking spaces.
The truck pulled to a stop and lights were extinguished. I was on Robert in a heartbeat, kissing his neck, rubbing my breasts against his shoulder.
“Hey, just a minute, pretty lady,” he offered.
“No,” I replied. “I want you. All of you. Now.”
Join Sandi and Robert as they embark on the next phase of life: Life in the empty nest–a time of discovery, of self-revelation and fresh starts.