Day 26 of the second #90DB. August 2, 2020 is the goal to complete this period.
4:27 AM — Listening to and reporting on the talk inside of my head this morning:
So what else has kept me from posting on a regular basis?
I tried a relationship.
It didn’t go well.
I explained to her up front: “I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not looking for a new spouse. I’m not looking for anything but good conversation.”
We didn’t listen.
It didn’t end well.
And that’s my fault.
I fucked up another relationship.
A lot of shit came flooding back into my life. A lot of shit that has no place in my life anymore.
A lot of shit that killed the first relationship.
A lot of shit that was going to make this new relationship die on the vine.
It wasn’t her fault.
It was mine.
A beautiful woman that didn’t deserve that.
So I broke it off.
Before she was hurt even more.
I suck at life.
But I’m going to get better. Starting today.
Back to some 75HARD-ish ways.
Back to just me.
Back to fighting back against the shit that’s in my head.
The last thing I wanted to do re-entering the dating pool was to hurt someone.
I broke the heart of a lovely woman and that may scar me for life.
Back to ground zero.
Here we go….